I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize