I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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