I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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