I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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