went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
