The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
