were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
