Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just had sex on a roof
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
