how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
