According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
