I just made out with a guy for $7.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
