I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
