do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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