my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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