The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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