The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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