I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize