Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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