she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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