I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
