so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Boobs speak an international language.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
