you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
