I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
