So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize