You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
