He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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