my vag is so smooth its legendary
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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