Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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