For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
