when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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