Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
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We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
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I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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