well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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