You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
