Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize