What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
