i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
