Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
