Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
