(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
