lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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