Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
