You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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