put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
