high people should be assigned attendants
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
