I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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