dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude. I can hear the air.
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