there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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