can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
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The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am one with the molecules
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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