i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
