Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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