It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
