If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
