Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Randomize
