Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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