So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
