May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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